August is birthday month!

Every year, I write a letter for my children on their birthdays, below excerpts of some I have written for Gabriel for the past 4 years:

I am trying to dig deep in my heart, yet it is likely I will not find appropriate words to describe how much I love you and how becoming a mother, your mother, has changed my life.
The first years of your life have been often overwhelming but full of joy. I enjoyed watching you grow, change, and develop from a tiny, toothless infant into a vivacious and curious toddler and into the bright little boy you are today.

During your first year you aroused my deepest insecurities and fears but also gave me the deepest joys and you made me so proud! Especially when you took that very first step and you did it just for me! My goal for that first year way to teach that you are loved and that you are safe with us and you can trust us. At the same time, my biggest hope for you was that you would grow with the awareness of the greatness of the God of the Universe and your needs for a savior; His Son, the Christ.

As you became a toddler, the dynamics and the challenges of raising you changed. We realized that there was a need for discipline and we weren’t sure how to go about it. Those days I remember growing increasingly frustrated because I had not yet learned how to portray my authority and you were frustrated because though you wanted to communicate, you did not have the words to do it. You cried a lot those days and I felt helpless.

With time, your words started coming and you were able to communicate your needs. Also, I was eager to get better at this parenting thing so I read and prayed, and I read and prayed and I read and prayed. It was not easy. I often felt inadequate for the job of being your mama, I felt lonely and isolated. Being home with such limited adult interaction was not easy but it taught me to rely in God’s Grace.

As you grew, some things got easier and others continued to be hard. You have always been very curious and so aware of your environment. Always wanting to know what is going on, who is coming, and who is going; always asking about everything. You seem to grow and change daily. When you were smaller, you used to get up really early and get in my bed to cuddle. That used to be our special time to laugh, giggle, and tell stories and more.

From being a vivacious toddler you turned into a very independent little boy who loves to explore the world around you. You love nature, animals, books, trains, cars and everything that goes.

I love being your mama and thank God everyday for allowing me to stay home with you and watch you grow. Change seems to be the only constant as we watch you grow but what will never change is our desire for you to know the God of the Universe personally. You already have an idea of Him; you know He is there, that He lives in our hearts, that He created you and everything else. We pray daily that He reaches your heart and that you lead a life of integrity, honor and purity and righteousness in Christ. We pray that you are gentle, kind, compassionate, generous, courageous and so much more!

Of course, loving you is not all the colour of roses. It is also hard because you are stubborn, independent and too much like me. I love you so much my little love! I love every part of you but specially those bright green eyes and your smile. They both tell me so much…

Everyday you come up with the funniest things and sayings; it is so great to witness your sharp mind, your good memory, your endless imagination. Your activity level and your curiosity grow every day by leaps and bounds. You ask more questions and they get harder each time. Sometimes I don’t even have answers.

Some days I wish you would stop growing but the truth is I also look forward to the coming years, to the new challenges. I know God has great plans for you. Happy 4th Birthday my little love!